Sammyland

Between the Kwik-E-Mart on Denny and the super fun avatar creator on http://www.simpsonsmovie.com, The Simpsons Movie marketing campaign is great!

As early as a year ago, the age 28 meant a lot of things to me - impending marriage decisions, mortgage payments, car seat investigations, frequent trips to target.  Having a mother-in-law.  Eating at the dining room table.  I pictured myself and friends no longer interested in horsing around in nice restaurants, no longer entertained by flatulence/barf-related humor.  Maybe open to the idea of cleaning my bathroom regularly.  Surprisingly, none of this has happened. 

I suppose there have been other changes.  I've graduated from 107.7 the end to almost exclusive NPR listenership.  I find "This American Life" really interesting - and the way my tutoring students' eyes glaze over as I relay a recent episode to them dates me.  I minimize the beverage escapades and try to load up on antioxidants and the like.  I balance my mutual funds.  Most strikingly, sometimes I get together with a group of friends at my apartment just to "talk".  I clearly remember being puzzled by this about 10 years ago as I played video games with my friends in the basement while our parents talked about God-knows-what-over-tea upstairs.  And now here I am, having "upstairs" conversations over tea.  Sometimes about tea.

Maybe my parents were talking about flatulance back then, in Gujurati.  Who knows.

In any case, as per tradition, my freakishly great friends organized another freakishly great birthday this year which began as a little "treasure hunt" meets "Amazing Race" all over Capitol Hill.  At each stage we were given a clue to decipher, which would lead us to the location of the next clue.  As with previous birthdays, the entire effort gives a little glimpse into our life in Seattle's most awesome "gayborhood".  Here's a little sample of the day's events:

Intro letter:

"Once upon a time - 28 years ago - the king Subhan and his queen Gulshan graced this world with a ganvas... mostly blank except for some dirty brown splotches."

Beautiful, thanks.

"As years passed, the world transformed that canvas - splashing more and more colors, different shapes and forms onto it - till it was this crazy smorgasbord...."

blah blah blah... lets skip to the important part...

"What was this amazing, astonishing, awe-inspiring... work of art?  ...In in this one afternoon, as you free your mind of all else and embark with us on this exciting journey, you'll get as close to it as any human can hope to in their lifetime.  Dudes and dudettes, welcome to  "The Searching for Sammy Walk!

You will need to solve 10 riddles, each taking you to one of the crosses on your map, helping to understand a facet of Sammy."

And off we went..

"He likes to step into a different world, it happens once in a while,
Action, adventure, romance, laugher - yes, they're all his style.
A vintage little setting as gateway to those realism, goes off really well,
So take Sammy to his pyramid - both of you'll fall under the tinsel spell."

The Egyptian movie theatre of course, at Pine and Harvard. Great little place that looks like it was decorated by Cleopatra's tacky niece.  I love vintage movie houses - so much more character than megaplexes.  The Egyptian has only 1-2 theatres, so you really feel like everyone in the house is rolling the dice together.  The Egyptian has lots of midnight showings of great old ones - we had actually seen Harold and Maude there a few weeks back - what a great movie.

Hey, there's another thing that's changed with age - I couldn't give a shit about THX or screen size or surround sound or any of that crap - i only care about content, companions, candy and if that ticket I just bought my date is gonna pay off at some point in the evening... ok not that much has changed.

They had me try and charm the poor movie ticket girl to try and get one of my favorite movies from her - Swingers.  That beautiful baby thought I was so money.

"He really likes artsy, though he doesn't really know art,
Just a humble patron he is, playing his little part.
If each of you draw an impression, for Sammy to put on his wall,
We'll have a prize for him - yes him!  We know he gets it all!"

This is where I had to go into model-mode on broadway at the steps of Seattle central as the group went at me with sharpies and blank slates.  Judging but the works my friends produced, they roughly fall into two camps:

A) The people who are really talented
B) They people who want to hurt my feelings

Anyways, here are a few samples of their work (note: a latham few works were latham left off because of latham obscene imagery latham):

And a shot of my modelling work. 

"Is it a Chocolate Bar? Or a Goth Vampire?  No, its a crossword puzzle, you fool!
No, I swear its a Superhero - one that'll make you drool.
Sammy can be anything you want him to be, it's all in the attire -
So pick some things and dress him up, to your heart's desire."

Yes, my previous 4 halloween outfits were a an ill-fated Indian-psuedo-Crow getup, a Hershey's bar (I thought that was clever), a crossword puzzle complete with clues (that turned out to Sunday NY-Times clever) and Captain Orgasmo.  You know, the guy with the "Shields".  The clue led us to Red Light - the used clothing store on Broadway - where my captors proceeded to choose an outfit for me for the night.  In the words of our former real-estate agent, Mark Gill, "What a disaster!"

Some early choices:

The final selection was a track suit top about 3 sizes too small with Arnold Palmer signature series pants that lead to requisite money shot on right.  Rock on.

"He likes 'em blonde, he likes 'em brown, he likes 'em black or red,
Sammy likes 'em any which way - when they grace his bed.
Looks and charm, other nifty tools - he's got 'em all, our loverboy,
We think he needs a little something more, so help him pick his toy!"

So this would be a reference to my seemingly permanent precense on the dating scene.  Look dudes, i'd love to find that special someone just like everybody else.  What better place to go than Castle sex toy store on Broadway.  We spent a surprisingly long time in there - their Latin-Transgender section was prolific.  In any case, team bought me a great book on the darker arts (not that i needed the help).  OK, i'm hopeless.

Now my place for some funky pig - WHAT? Mom'll say its a big deal!
"Relax dude", our Sammy says, "It's sooo yummy but its not for real!"

And that would be fake-bacon at Bleu Bistro on Broadway.  My Wasp and Jewish-sinner friends tell me its pretty close to the real thing.  I believe them.  You should believe them and go there for dinner immediately if haven't been before.  (Note to the daters: this place is more money than any sex toy you could ever buy).

So we went to Bleu and got some fake bacon. 

He's come a very long way, weary to the bone, and he's thirsty too,
He'd love a warm cup to soothe his soul, and he'll offer some to you.
He lent his voice to keep this place around, for it brings many people joy,
So take him there for a sip of tea or two, and relax with the birthday boy!

And this is B&O Espresso, a favorite hangout and capitol hill institution.  A few months ago we got word that a condo mogel purchased the building and was forcing them out of business.  So I called our district councillor to protest (I don't remember who told me to do this - but if you're reading this - thanks!).  They actually just put a sign up saying they'd be in business for at least the next two years.  So I have a new deadline for leaving Capitol Hill. 

We went to B&O and has some hot drinks to chillax after our big day. 

That night, the crazy kids organized a dinner for a bigger group at Jai Thai, that was very purple and fun.  The cake was insanely good, although didn't hold a "candle" to Vaishali's "concrete" cake from last year.  Here's a look at some of the festivities:

Thanks to everyone for coming and especially to Andy, Jordan and Vaishali, the unstable masterminds behind GBOAT!!! :)

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Intelligence not linked to wealth, according to US study - Yahoo! News

 Booyaka

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Dark chocolate: Is it in you? - Los Angeles Times

Feeling gloomy this morning.  Enter NPR and my hero, Wayne Coyne of the Flaming Lips, with "This I Believe..."

NPR : Creating Our Own Happiness

:)

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